BLOG

The Gift of Empowerment

11.13.2013 by Valerie Ryder //

The biggest block to being empowered, in my experience as a professional coach, corporate manager, and mother, is not realizing that you have the ability to do something. And I’m not alone in this. I read recently that a common pet peeve of school sports coaches is: “I hate it when a kid says, ‘I can’t.’ That drives me nuts. You can. Just try.”

I know, sometimes “just try” is easier said than done. As a child, student, then an intern early on in my career, I too have heard those words from people who believed in me whereas I didn’t. I am grateful to them – my parents, teachers, coaches and supervisors – who were able to see my abilities and to patiently persevere in making me realizing that I could do whatever it was I was convinced I couldn’t do. Thank you for that gift of empowerment.

So please, before you say “I can’t” next time, think of this gift. Empower yourself by imagining that whatever you want to do IS possible, and think about what you can do to make it happen. Turn to someone who believes in you and seriously consider the possibility that you really can achieve it if you put your mind to it.

A Man’s Advice

02.18.2013 by Valerie Ryder //

A Man’s Advice for Women in Management

I read an interesting article not too long ago, interesting in that it gave a male view of what women managers should or should not do to further succeed in their career. Here are some choice pieces of proffered advice from a respected sales and ex-HR director of well-known multinationals:

– “When women make it to certain level they don’t necessarily need to demonstrate that they deserve it –- a little more self-confidence would serve them well.”
– “Women need to realize that if roles and positions have been attributed to them, trying too hard to copy male characteristics, such as authoritativeness, is not only unnecessary, but it can also be counterproductive. If women occupy a certain position, it’s because they possess the appropriate qualities for that specific position.”
– “Men don’t worry too much about why they hold a certain position, which gives them more energy to understand their surroundings and develop relationships. On the other hand, women are strongly focused on themselves once they get to a certain level, as if they constantly need to convince themselves of their role.”

Alas, I too have experienced a number of women like the ones that this man is referring to, akin to Miranda Priestly in “The Devil Wears Prada”. Fortunately, not all successful women in management try to emulate men, are overly demonstrative of their capabilities, and are too self-centered.

What do those other women do differently? They frequently adopt a coach approach to management, where their oft-innate skills of listening, encouragement and showing empathy, for example, are expressed and appreciated. In short, women allow themselves to be more natural without necessarily trying to fit into a male mold.

Try it, it works.

To sharpen your management skills in coaching and avoid Miranda’s fate, see the News & Events section for upcoming courses on this subject: “Nuove competenze al femminile: Affiancare e sviluppare i propri collaboratori” and “Coaching e strumenti di sviluppo manageriale” within Il Sole 24 Ore’s Master’s program, Management della Formazione.

Self-promotion…Ugh!

11.18.2012 by Valerie Ryder //

Why on earth is it so hard for so many women to speak positively about themselves and their accomplishments? How many times have women told me things like: “Oh, that? It’s nothing special.” “It makes me uncomfortable to talk about myself and my successes, I don’t like to brag.” “I shouldn’t have to tell others (boss, colleagues, clients…) about what I’ve accomplished, the results should speak for themselves.” Or worse yet, and I heard this one again just the other day: “I can’t think of anything I’m particularly good at.”

Well, whatever the reason for this self-imposed modesty, this humble nature, it’s important to get beyond it. Self-promotion – within reason, of course – is a prerequisite not only to advancing professionally, but also to reinforcing your self-esteem.

If you cringe at the thought of having to market yourself, even minimally through a simple conversation, I’d like to recommend an effective book by author Peggy Klaus: “Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn without Blowing It”(Warner Business Books). It’s based on the premise that “In today’s cutthroat business world… bragging is a necessity – not a choice! Remaining quiet about your successes only leads to being underappreciated and overlooked.”

For women who prefer learning through “live” practicing, see the News & Events section for a couple of upcoming courses on this subject, one in English and one in Italian.

It’s time to start speaking up about yourself. If you don’t, who will?